This week, I want to focus in on friendship.
Don't worry, I still have some snacks for ya down below ;)
But the meat and potatoes of today's email is about making friends.
Specifically, making friends as an adult man.
An adult man with a family and a job and financial obligations, and maybe a few hobbies to boot…
Back in the day, you'd collect a handful of close friends during the first 20 years of your life. You know:
Kids who lived on your street growing up
Classmates from middle and high school
Your college roommates
Then, you'd keep most of these friends for the rest of your life.
The original crew: my older brother and our two best friends who lived across the street.
College pals on a cruise (we thought we were so classy 😂)
These days, though, everyone scatters. They move across the country for a job or spouse.
Even your new friends might relocate in middle age. It’s just normal now.
The percentage of men with six or more close friends dropped from 55% in 1990 to just 27% in 2021.
It's hard to make new friends. It takes time, effort and vulnerability.
But we need friends. Loneliness leads to depression, and social isolation can shorten lifespans.
When I moved back to Tucson, I was determined to make some dang friends.
As a busy dad, here’s what’s working for me right now:
About once a month, I invite 7-8 guys from my neighborhood over to my house for a beer or three (or water…it’s really not about drinking).
All different kinds of guys:
Dave is a retiree who’s lived on my street for 30 years.
Edgar is an accountant who moved in two months ago.
Eugene is my age and also has two young kids.
I provide a cooler, table snacks and background music. The back gate opens at 8p.
We hang out and talk for a couple hours, then everyone heads home.
This doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m an introvert. I’m uncomfortable at parties.
But I’m forcing it. I’m making these gatherings happen.
And you know what? Most of the people I invite show up.
I think most people are just waiting for an invitation to hang out.
And, the more time we spend together, the closer we become.
We’re becoming friends. It’s amazing!
Host your own neighborhood hang.
Do it this week.
Go knock on some doors, or if you already have contact info, send an email/text.
Your place, Saturday night, 8p.
Maybe one guy will show up. Fine! Do it again next week.
Email me with your results…
Here’s a list of things I’m considering buying:
Abercrombie 90s Straight Jeans - actually just bought these, but they haven’t arrived yet…will keep you posted
MBS 215 T-Shirt - considering testing out the infamous The Bear tee for a cool $115 🤔
What are you eyeing these days? Hit ‘reply’ and let me know!
![]() | Mike started Abbreviated Apparel, a clothing brand for shorter guys. He worked in big corporate fashion and has a great eye for style. His fits tend are simple but never boring. He’s able to incorporate trends without looking like a teenager. I also appreciate his lighthearted approach to what can be a pretty stuffy niche. Go check him out! |
Here are my most recent videos:
Got any video ideas for me? Hit ‘reply’ and share them!
Here are some bite-sized nuggets for your enjoyment:
49 outfits with 1 pair of shoes (YouTube)
Got any internet gems for me this week? Don’t hold out, send me a link!
Did You Know? Rolex has never had a sale…ever. The brand tightly controls supply and (allegedly) will destroy unwanted inventory before offering it at a discount.
Talk about manufactured scarcity, right? But hey, it seems to be working!
Until next time,
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